Nuss/Brauwer Family Dynamics

My perspective on the world is based on my knowledge of the world. I am the first to admit that my scope is limited to mainly the United States. I was born in the South and spent many summers there but I was mainly raised in California, a more liberal state than South Carolina in so many ways. Add in that things in the ‘60s and ‘70s were different then and yes, my world is colored by those events as well. I am also the family historian which has given me the opportunity to study history in a different way than what we were taught in school. Remember always that history is written by the victors in any society. We re-write our own history on a regular basis.

What I offer here is my own perspective of what I saw and learned in South Africa. I don’t brand it as the absolute truth, just my own humble musing. It is no intended to be a political statement of any kind. I will avoid that subject to the ends I can. And yes, my view of the world is different now than it was then. I believe one thing the reader has to keep in mind that my experiences in South Africa were limited.

With that said, I will give you my impressions of the Nuss/Brauwer families without violating their privacy past the point where it does become quite private. As with all very good friends, some information is never to be shared, by either party.

The family as a whole is “healthy” in their relationship with each other. Of course there are the occasional disagreements but that doesn’t stop them from being close knit. They have the love to work out the problems that occur between then. No one really stays mad at anyone for any length of time. I call that “healthy” because that isn’t the way it is in my family! They don’t walk on egg shells when they are together, they say what’s on their mind and then they talk about it. There don’t seem to be a lot of secrets between them, they are very open and frank with each other.

Santi…she’s an artist and like an artist she can become very frustrated at herself and her art at times. She is a perfectionist where her art is concerned and she is very involved in the work of others on the team. She’s harder on herself than she is anyone else where work is concerned. They all work so well together most of the time. They take the time to sit and critique each others work but not harshly. It’s actually amazing to see it happen! I’ve been around other artistic types before and it isn’t always a pleasant place to be when they start “sharing” ideas!

While most of us know Santi through the trunk shows, I’ve seen her as a mother, sister, friend, mentor and grandmother all at the same time. Declan is just the apple of her and Peter’s eyes. I know that Baby Zoe is here now but I don’t expect to see any change in their time or feelings for Declan, they will just grow more arms to open up for the newest member of the family! Santi loves to take Declan off for a weekend or take him off of Liese’s hands for a weekend! She gets him on Fridays and life comes to a screeching halt from the time he gets there.

Peter completes her. Peter brings a very special balance to her life, he’s calming when things around Santi get crazy. Peter doesn’t get caught up in the business drama at home. He takes his role as her new “tour director” very seriously and when I was there he was busy mapping out routes and calculating time between point A and point B.

When he is on the road with her, she sometimes needs to be rescued from trunk shows. She knows that the ladies have come, sometimes, from distances and she wants to personally take a minute to speak to everyone. I find her amazing in that respect. She remembers so many of the ladies from the list, I don’t know how she keeps up with all that she does! But at times, Peter has to play the bad guy and get her motivated to move on to the next trunk show or even just make her stop long enough to eat! No, she gets so involved in chatting with the ladies she doesn’t eat when she should.

While they are on the road their life isn’t so different from when they are at home really. They are simple people, just family to all they meet! So many here have opened their heart and homes to them and it gets a bit overwhelming at times. She really doesn’t understand it all but Peter sees it. If you watch Peter, you can see him smile with his eyes… or roll his eyes at her!

Santi could care less if there was a tv in the house or not but Peter likes his sports! What can I say, he’s a man! He tried to explain Rugby to me while I was there but it never really sank in. Like baseball or football here, they have their own sports heroes. And no, not all of the family shares the same favorite teams either!

Peter and his son Dylan (married to Liese) have a unique situation to contend with I think. It’s got to be difficult when one of your parents is married to your in law! It’s not always easy for the 4 of them but I think this is uncharted waters and most of us can’t imagine how that would work out! A blinded family is one thing but this? I don’t even know how to describe it!

Dylan and Liese live around the corner from Santi with Declan and now Zoe. You might be surprised how little embroidery there is in Declan’s bedroom! I was! I thought everything in there would be Hatched designs or even someone elses but there is very little there! I wonder if Zoe will be any different. Liese is a Winnie the Pooh fan so there was a lot of Pooh Bear in Declan’s room. Oh there are lots of toys in Declan’s room but then he was the first grand child of both families (Nuss and Brauwer) as I recall. Interestingly enough he really isn’t as spoiled as you would expect him to be but Liese can’t decide who is worse about spoiling him, Santi or Peter... but then Auntie Cara is up there in the running too!

Dylan owns his own business and he puts in long hours but when he comes home Declan is all over him! I know that in order to get a business going you have to put in those hours and I’m pretty sure that Dylan hates being away from Declan and Liese all of those hours but there isn’t much to be done about it at this point in the business growth.

I think right now that Liese and Cara spend more time on administrative duties than digitizing these days. I don’t think any of them thought that the business would grow into what it is! They were trying to find someone to take over some of those duties while I was there but you need just the right person to blend in to this business. It doesn’t always make sense to everyone!

Liese balances a family with a full time job and does a very good job at both things I believe. She’s bouncy and bubbly yet quiet and contemplative all at the same time… Yes, I read what I just wrote. There is always a smile behind her eyes when she is thinking and you can see her mind working I the background when she’s smiling and bubbly! Her heart is as wide as her eyes. Liese is quiet easy to read, but then there is Cara…

I had only met Cara once when I went to South Africa and she was a pleasant surprise to me! She has an amazing sense of humor. She can find the humor in just about any situation when she has to. She’s not easily defeated, nor does she give up often. She pushes through problems until they are solved or resolve themselves! Like her mother and her sister she is driven by right and wrong, they don’t seem to wander in the middle of that road very often. But they are never so driven as to close their minds to someone elses opinion.

When I first saw Cara in South Africa we had met them for a weekend at a resort. The “kids” were roughing it in tents while us old folks had small cottages! Unfortunately for the “kids” it rained a lot of the time that weekend and roughing it took on a whole new appearance! I felt sorry for them myself but they seemed to take it all in stride. We did take Declan out of the tent to the cottage though. Santi and Peter wouldn’t let him sleep out in the tent in the rain.

Cara and her friends, including Stefan, properly pronounced Stee-f-on and I had to work at that one, although he’s ok with Stefan, were busy with the cooking and chores of camping. They did find time to play in the water at the resort when it wasn’t raining. Stefan is an open book, much like Liese is but Cara is a little harder to read! LOL You always know where you stand with her but her humor is a little dryer, much like the English comedies… Maybe it comes from living in England for as long as she did but her smile will light up any room she is in. She’s as honest and giving as anyone I’ve ever met and best of all, she’s in love with Stefan!

Stefan, as I said, is an open book. He’s an easy read and he’s just a happy go lucky kind of a guy but he has his head on his shoulders even where Cara is involved! Cara is a little strong willed but Stefan doesn’t let that stop him at all! They actually have a wonderful relationship and I did get to spend some time with them together. Stefan is into bird watching and he is turning Cara into a bird watcher as well! It’s amazing how many birds he recognizes! I was impressed!

As I go along and add more to this blog we’ll get to more specific trips and observations, but I wanted to give you a little insight into the family dynamics. Maybe then you can understand more about the experience of spending that month with them…